My Values and Identity

EXvangelical

I grew up in the evangelical Christian church, sang in the worship band and went on mission trips. I slowly shed those old beliefs in my early 20s. I understand that being a born-again Christian is not something people just do on Sundays – it is an entire culture and way of life that I had to deconstruct. I now identify as an atheist-leaning agnostic.

Gay, Lesbian, Queer…

I can’t ever seem to land on a label for myself, but suffice it to say I live with my wife and we are active in the local LGBTQ+ community. Even though I was able to leave religion behind in my early 20s, I did not fully come out until I was well into my 30s. I am a cisgendered female and my pronouns are she/her.

Compassion

I believe that a lot of psychological and emotional suffering comes from a lack of compassion for one’s self. We also benefit when we find compassion for others. We are all doing the best we can with what we’ve got, at any given time.

Integrity

I strive to be honest and clear in my communication, ethical in my actions and do my best to be a person of my word. 

Non-Spirituality

I believe the physical world is what exists. I do not believe in things like gods, spirits, or an afterlife. I believe we create our own meaning in our brief experience of consciousness. 

Connection

Humans need other humans, not just for safety and survival, but to generally feel okay. Attaching to others is normal, as is the pain we experience when those relationships change or end. Relationships are imperfect and complicated, but essential. 

Systemic Perspective

I recognize the systemic power structures that negatively impact many people for the benefit of specific others. I understand that not all problems are individual problems. I humbly acknowledge my privileges and strive to always remain curious and continue learning. I support BLM, and identify as a feminist.

My Style & Approach

Authenticity

While you won’t get to know everything about me, you’ll get a sense of who I am. I do not work as a “blank slate.” I find it is easier to connect when we are just being ourselves. However, my focus is on helping you, so the boundaries I keep are just as important. Talk therapy involves an intentionally lopsided relationship, since it’s my job to take care of you and not the other way around.

Collaborative

I know a lot of stuff, but so do you. We can figure this out together. I will ask questions, make suggestions and observations, and point our work in certain directions, but you’ll help guide our work as well. You will likely have occasional “homework” between our sessions, which we will generate together. I value your feedback, and respect your unique experience and perspective. 

Humor

I have a strong sense of humor, and so do most of my clients. Of course, therapy is serious business, but it’s ok for us to laugh in session! It’s not uncommon for a session with me to include both laughter and tears.

Experience and Orientation

I draw from a variety of approaches, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), motivational interviewing, and other client-centered therapies. I hold a psychology undergraduate degree from UC San Diego. My master’s degree (SDSU, Jan 2005) and professional license are in marriage and family therapy, so even though I don’t work with couples, my work with individuals often focuses on relationships with important others. I have a broad spectrum of experience including bereavement counseling, gender issues, moderate to severe depression, intensive outpatient treatment, DBT skills teaching, and counseling military active duty and spouses. I am a member of AAMFT and Psychology Today. I am registered with TherapyDen, Secular Therapy Project, Reclamation Collective, Monarch, Headway, and the recently created ProChoiceTherapists.org.

Let’s connect.

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