It is not lost on me – “The Agnostic Therapist,” an EXvangelical queer woman who helps clients recover from religious harm – that my favorite team, the San Diego Padres, is named after the Catholic Franciscan Friar missionary colonizers who forced their religion on the indigenous folks of this region. Talk about religious trauma! I am aware that I live and work on the unceded land of the native Kumeyaay people who suffered these indignities. The team name is not a great reference. For this reason, I wouldn’t oppose a name change. And…
Regardless of what you call the team, I love baseball and I love our team. And last night, in extreme dramatic fashion, the boys from San Diego secured their spot in the postseason by way of a 9th inning triple-play against our freeway-rivals, the Dodgers. If you don’t know much about baseball, a triple-play happens when a runner gets out at three different bases all in one play, and it’s pretty rare. This was only the second triple-play to occur in the entire MLB all season (2,430 games!). It was f-ing glorious.
But leading up to that moment, watching that game, I was a ball of nerves. And as I’ve been watching the games this week, hoping so hard that we’d make the playoffs, I got to thinking about the appeal of it all. Because, honestly, what has recently and repeatedly come out of my mouth is, “Baseball is STRESSFUL.” And the Padres seem to have a knack for winning via dramatic comebacks, so I have ridden a lot of emotional roller coasters this season.
So, as Carrie Bradshaw might say (if she ever once thought about baseball), I couldn’t help but wonder.. is following baseball actually fun?
And the answer is yes… sometimes. When the Friars win, it’s exhilarating. When the guys pull amazing feats of athleticism, it’s entertaining and sometimes astounding.
But I realized it’s also something more. It’s not just fun and entertainment. Baseball is community. It’s belief. It’s hope. Interestingly, the Padres organization plays into all of this by leveraging the religious origins of their name. They refer to their fanbase as the “Friar Faithful” and they use hashtags like #keepthefaith. But even other teams, like those named after an animal (Orioles, Cubs) or an inanimate geological feature (the Rockies), can still inspire the same sense of collective identity and faith. Just look for the ball caps wherever you go. Tell someone in an NY cap “go Sox” and see what happens. Heh.
Look, I know I’m not the first person to figure out that stanning a sports team is a stand-in for tribal human tendencies and collective identity. But what I’m noticing in myself is that it’s also kind of a stand-in for religion. It’s not that I have magical beliefs about Manny Machado. I don’t think I have a soul that is impacted by what Mike Shildt has to say. But there is something in me that really loves to believe in this team, even when it is totally irrational. I enthusiastically identify as one of the Friar Faithful. I relish the collective roar I get to make with 40,000 strangers at Petco Park when Jackson Merrill does it again. I don’t mind when my wife says, “Go Padres!” to some random guy in an SD cap (she is the extrovert in the relationship) and there will subsequently be, at minimum, a pleasant exchange of smiles, but possibly an entire conversation about the most recent game. I’ll tolerate this, as much as I hate small talk, because it’s for the Friars.
I find myself collecting hats and shirts and even… earrings. (Yes, I have Padres earrings. I know. This is my life now.) And, for what? What is the goal here? Am I trying to impress someone? Are there going to be important photos of me in this gear? Other than an occasional selfie with my wife or friends, no. It’s all just to be a nano-member of the team, to be the slightest bit connected to the greater whole, to feel like maybe I’m a little tiny part of something that is majestic and sincere, wholesome and extraordinary.
And you know what? I do. I feel it. I’m Friar Faithful, dammit. I might be stressed out by nearly every game, but I can’t wait for the next one, and I am #keepingthefaith. World Series, here we come! LFGSD!!!