You’ve been thinking about starting therapy, and you know you could use the help. But it’s feeling hard to get started. If you feel lost trying to find a therapist, you’re not alone. A lot of people don’t even know…
Where to Begin to Look For a Therapist?
If you have insurance, you might start with your insurance provider’s website, but that usually just produces a list of names and numbers with very little distinction from one another. Are you supposed to just close your eyes and point to one? Maybe you ask around friends and family for recommendations. This can be helpful, but a good fit for say, your cousin, is not necessarily a good fit for you.
TIP: Consider using an online directory. Larger directories have lots of filters you can use to narrow down your search. Smaller directories cater to a more niche audience. Here are a sampling of directories you may find helpful:
How Do I Use Insurance For Therapy?
How does insurance work? Do you have an HMO plan or a PPO plan? What are out-of-network benefits? What the hell is a superbill?
The U.S. health insurance system is pretty confusing and awful, but we are stuck with it for the time being. Some plans will only pay for therapists who are “in-network” with the insurance provider. Other plans will offer some reimbursement for out-of-network providers, but you, the client, pay the therapist upfront. A “superbill” is a form you send the insurance company to get that reimbursement.
Some people (and of course, this is a privileged choice) choose to pay out of pocket for therapy. It eliminates this entire issue of in or out of network, and you can just look for the best-fit therapist. It also means that your information stays only with that therapist, instead of being shared with your insurance company.
DID YOU KNOW? U.S. insurance companies will not pay for therapy if the therapist does not diagnose the client with a mental health diagnosis, and usually therapists have to choose a diagnosis on the first visit.
How Much Will Therapy Cost?
How much of a dent will therapy put in your budget? Sure seems like a simple question, but it depends, of course, on the complexities of your insurance plan or lack thereof. One therapy session could cost as little as zero (that is, if your insurance pays for 100% of it) or as much as $300+ for high end therapists. Insurance copays are often in the $20-$40 range for in-network therapists. If your therapist is out of network, you could, for example, be reimbursed for only 50% of the cost. And, do you have a deductible? It can get complicated to calculate who you can afford!
TIP: Call your insurance company to get the exact details on what therapy is going to cost you. Ask about deductibles, allowable costs, visit limits, and reimbursement rates. And don’t be afraid to consider paying out of pocket instead, especially if your coverage isn’t great. You may be better off paying for a good-fit therapist 2x/month, instead of seeing someone in-network weekly at half the cost. Also, consider how much you spend on other things in life and whether you might like to redirect those funds toward an investment in a good therapist.
(And look, that last comment is directed ONLY at those who have disposable income, not toward folks who are struggling financially. I know many people do not have the privilege of paying out of pocket, and I have been there myself. However, others of us are spending plenty of cash on things like UberEats, trips to the dispensary, concert tickets, and so on. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But could some time with the right therapist maaaaaybe be a little more helpful to your mental health? It’s worth pondering.)
Are They Accepting New Clients?
You call or email 5 therapists and three of them don’t respond, and the two who do tell you they’re not taking new clients at this time. So it’s back to the directories or Googling. So frustrating.
Can the Therapist Help With My Issue(s)?
Not every therapist deals with every issue. If they do, they’re probably not doing it well. Most therapists can address everyday worries and stressors, but if you’re dealing with something specific like an eating disorder, religious trauma, ADHD, OCD, etc., you’re going to want someone competent in that specialty area. You also need someone who helps your demographic. Some therapists only see children. Some only see couples.
TIP: You can search using filters for presenting issues on many directory sites. However, I recommend you read through the therapists’ profiles and check out their websites for additional evidence that they actually do have expertise in your area of need. Because some therapists will check 10,000 boxes in order to show up in all the searches. And look for therapists who offer free consult calls, so you can chat with them about their experience and expertise in your issue.
Are Our Values Aligned (enough)?
This doesn’t get talked about enough, and many therapists will say that it shouldn’t matter. But it does. The personal is political. Yes, therapists are supposed to, to some extent, put their own stuff aside when dealing with clients. And hopefully they do. But if you’ve had an abortion, do you really want to see an anti-choice therapist? (Read more about that here) If you are a trans client, do you really want to see a therapist who doesn’t believe in your transgender existence? If you are an agnostic ex-Muslim of immigrant parents, do you want to see a therapist who is a white Christian nationalist? Are we just going to trust that these therapists are “setting aside” their personal convictions just for us? I mean, I wouldn’t.
Are They Available When I Need Them?
Different therapists work at different times. Some work early mornings, some work 9-5, some do nights or weekends. And, the popular ones may only have specific openings in their schedule. So you could find someone who clears all of the stuff we have talked about above, only to find out that their only opening is Friday at 7pm when you are working your most lucrative shift at the bar. Ugh.
TIP: If you have a truly inflexible schedule, ask the therapists upfront about availability in your initial inquiry. There’s no use in playing phone tag if they’re not available on the days/times you need. On the other hand, don’t be afraid to get creative with your schedule. Virtual sessions mean you can do therapy from any private space with an internet connection. I’ve had many lunchtime sessions with clients who were parked in their cars.
Will I Like Them? Will They Get Me?
Alright. You found someone who takes your insurance, knows how to help with your issue, seems aligned enough in values, and can see you at a time you’re available.
But… do you like them? Does it FEEL right? Do they seem like they understand you? Because all the techniques and training in the world won’t make up for a bad vibe. Finding a therapist is a little bit like dating in this way; of course, it is more one-sided, since therapists are prepared to help a wide spectrum of personalities, but there is definitely a “fit” that needs to happen.
TIP: Ask for a consult call, before booking the actual first session, preferably by video/zoom. Don’t be afraid to switch therapists if you have a session or two and it just doesn’t feel right. Don’t let guilt stop you. It is not your job to take care of the therapist’s feelings, and we therapists know this happens. Just let them know it’s not a good fit, and move on.
DID YOU KNOW? The most important factor in the effectiveness of psychotherapy is the quality of the relationship between the therapist and client.
I wish I could conclude this with some amazing, bottom-line tip to streamline your process. But there really isn’t one. My general advice is this:
- Know your insurance coverage info.
- Ask therapists about costs, insurance and scheduling in your initial inquiry.
- Don’t be afraid to try multiple therapists if the first one isn’t a good fit.
- If (IF!) you have disposable income, consider investing in the right therapist, regardless of whether your insurance covers them.
Best of luck, may the force be with you, and may the odds be ever in your therapeutic favor.