It’s the most wonderful queer time of the year – PRIDE month! For the LGBTQIA+ community, June kicks off the summer with a joyous, celebratory month of parties, parades, and more. Pride month is so many things. It began as a protest march in the early 1970s to mark the anniversary of the Stonewall Inn…
Why Didn’t I Come Out As Trans Sooner? This is clearly a personal question that only you can answer for yourself. It’s often posed as a rhetorical question. In reality, it’s usually more of a self-directed criticism (translation: “I should have come out sooner and I’m ashamed I didn’t”) or an expression of regret (“I…
Bisexual people are everywhere. But it may not seem that way. Despite the ubiquity of bisexuality, we collectively tend to overlook its existence. And it’s easy to do that, because bisexuality often gets superficially erased. The pressure of compulsory heterosexuality (or comphet) is present for most of us beginning in early childhood, constantly pushing us…
If you’re reading this, you likely already know that purity culture has had an insidious impact on multiple generations of folks raised on high-control religion. If you’re one of these people, and you’re starting to recognize the profound effect it has had on you and your sexuality, you’re not alone. With purity culture’s far-reaching effects…
What is Compulsory Heterosexuality? Compulsory heterosexuality is the societal expectation and assumption that you are (and will be) cisgender and heterosexual. We experience pressure to be cisgender and heterosexual (cishet) before we even know what that means. We learn, before we can even put it into words, that cishet is the “right” way to be.…
Some of us figure out who we are when we are well into adulthood. Others of us knew all along we were different, but didn’t feel we could come out sooner. Regardless of the reasons, let’s talk about why coming out in your 30s and 40s (or later) is so different from coming out in…
It’s rough out there, folks. Of course, it’s been rough for a while here in the US, if you are anything besides a white, cishet man. It’s especially frightening right now for the targets of those in power: immigrants (or anyone who “looks like” they could be an immigrant) and trans people. (Let’s acknowledge that…
I am all for using the new year as a fresh start. Since many of us have a little down time leading up to New Year’s Day, it’s a welcome chance to rest, reflect, and consider what we might like to accomplish in 2026. What I don’t love is burdening ourselves with the expectation of…
This time of year is ROUGH for some of us queer and trans folks. I am sure I don’t need to tell you that you’re not the only one who might be struggling. Maybe it’s because you’re not going to see family at all, but maybe it’s because you ARE seeing your family. For queer…
It’s Saturday afternoon, and my wife has put on the Lilith Fair documentary. On one hand, it’s a big hot mug of warm nostalgia featuring beloved artists from my young adult years – Sarah McLauchlan, Lisa Loeb (huge crush), and Natalie Merchant, to name a few. And also, it has tapped into a well of…