Do you have a perfect family that is just super accepting, wildly supportive and celebrates you exactly as you are? Is your family open-minded, direct in their communication, clear in their boundaries, and emotionally mature? Oh. Hmm no? Not so much? It would be nice if we all were lucky enough to have that kind…
Someone pissed me off on my neighborhood walk this morning. The thing they did is, admittedly, a general pet peeve of mine, but today I noticed that my internal reaction was a bit disproportionate. Here’s the scenario: I’m walking alone down the sidewalk, and I come up against two or three people moving in the…
It is not lost on me – “The Agnostic Therapist,” an EXvangelical queer woman who helps clients recover from religious harm – that my favorite team, the San Diego Padres, is named after the Catholic Franciscan Friar missionary colonizers who forced their religion on the indigenous folks of this region. Talk about religious trauma! I…
I am old enough to be Chappell Roan’s mom. In February 1998, when she was born, I was in my senior year of college at UC San Diego. My 15 year old adores her. Watching parts of the recent VMAs made me feel like a great-grandma. What I am trying to say here is that…
Dating is hard. From the first flirtation (whether DM or IRL), to waiting to hear back after a first date, to ending a situationship that’s gone awry, it can be rough out there. And if you’re queer, your dating pool is whittled down significantly from the general population. So when you find someone who lights…
It’s a common question to be asked: What is your approach in therapy? With me, therapy is a conversation. I don’t follow a strict formula or format, and my approach is collaborative. I have had an eclectic two-decade career with all sorts of experiences and trainings, and I’ve integrated all of this learning into what…
The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church, by Sarah McCammon As someone who left evangelical Christianity behind over 25 years ago, one of the most striking things I’ve noticed in my work as a therapist (and from reading about others’ experiences) is how much white evangelical culture has NOT changed. Clearly, the…
You’ve been thinking about starting therapy, and you know you could use the help. But it’s feeling hard to get started. If you feel lost trying to find a therapist, you’re not alone. A lot of people don’t even know… Where to Begin to Look For a Therapist? If you have insurance, you might start…
Have you yet been acquainted with the term “critical ignoring?” If not, allow me to introduce you. What is Critical Ignoring? We mere mortals only have so much time and energy. Those of us who are extremely online are often overly inundated with information, some of which isn’t actually “information,” but opinion, harassment, noise, false…
It was an honor to have read this memoir by Sarah Henn Hayward before its official release in November 2023. I wish I’d had it by my side 25+ years ago when I was fumbling through my own deconversion. It would have felt like the friend I didn’t have at the time. First, I will…