In recovering from religious trauma as an LGBTQIA+ person, people often say they are “feeling behind” in life. Main points we will cover in this article: “Behind” is not a feeling, it’s a self-judgment The emotions associated with “feeling behind” in life are often embarrassment, guilt, and shame Consciously or unconsciously, you may be comparing…
Review of For God’s Sake: Recovering From Religious Trauma Key Points: For God’s Sake is highly recommended for anyone recovering from religious trauma caused by high-control or fundamentalist religion Though under 200 pages, it is packed with information, self-assessments, and journaling exercises related to religious trauma For God’s Sake addresses various specifics like fears of…
It’s not uncommon for my clients (and people in my real life too) who have trauma to initially reject the label “trauma” for themselves. This personal distancing has probably been reinforced by the current ubiquity of the word. This has been fueled by a mix of social media misinformation and oversimplification, the shift in mental…
It’s the most wonderful queer time of the year – PRIDE month! For the LGBTQIA+ community, June kicks off the summer with a joyous, celebratory month of parties, parades, and more. Pride month is so many things. It began as a protest march in the early 1970s to mark the anniversary of the Stonewall Inn…
Why Didn’t I Come Out As Trans Sooner? Coming out as trans can be a challenging process. This question of timing is clearly a personal question that only you can answer for yourself, but it’s one I encourage you to ask with compassion. It’s often posed as a rhetorical question. In reality, the question “why…
Bisexual people are everywhere. But it may not seem that way. Despite the ubiquity of bisexuality, we collectively tend to overlook its existence. And it’s easy to do that, because bisexuality often gets superficially erased. The pressure of compulsory heterosexuality (or comphet) is present for most of us beginning in early childhood, constantly pushing us…
If you’re reading this, you likely already know that purity culture has had an insidious impact on multiple generations of folks raised on high-control religion. If you’re one of these people, and you’re starting to recognize the profound effect it has had on you and your sexuality, you’re not alone. With purity culture’s far-reaching effects…
Many folks experiencing religious trauma also have problems with high levels of anxiety. But not all anxiety is caused by religious trauma, and not all anxiety is bad. Let’s start by taking a look at the definition and function of anxiety. What is Anxiety? Anxiety, in the most general sense, is a normal human emotion.…
What is Compulsory Heterosexuality? Compulsory heterosexuality is the societal expectation and assumption that you are (and will be) cisgender and heterosexual. We experience pressure to be cisgender and heterosexual (cishet) before we even know what that means. We learn, before we can even put it into words, that cishet is the “right” way to be.…
Some of us figure out who we are when we are well into adulthood. Others of us knew all along we were different, but didn’t feel we could come out sooner. Regardless of the reasons, let’s talk about why coming out in your 30s and 40s (or later) is so different from coming out in…